Don’t Let Your Past Own Your Present

Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.

- Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

One of the greatest obstacles I have had to overcome on my journey has been my obsession with the past.  I have a decent “library” of memories stored away that I love to visit, but I have come to realize that too much attention on what already did happen keeps me from experiencing what is happening right now.

We gain nothing by focusing on the past and missing the present moment.  We fail to experience what is happening around us when we are immersed in memories of what no longer affects us.  (Let me clarify: Should no longer affect us.)  We can learn from the past, we can laugh about the past, but ultimately, we have to leave the past and return to the present moment.  Life is happening NOW.  Make sure you’re here to experience it.

Think about how much better life would be if you stopped the past from controlling your present.  When you are with your kids, do you actually enjoy the time you have, or are you thinking about the money you just spent on the radiator?  Are you appreciating the beauty of the park you are walking through, or still thinking about the aggravation of dealing with the cable company for hours?

The “solution” I have found works best is to draw a strong dividing line between what is, and what was.  Take a moment, every once in a while, to determine if you are focused on right now, or letting the past affect you.  If you need to, take the time to visualize whatever it is that happened and “place” it on the other side of the dividing line.  Now that it is there, enjoy how relieved you feel because you have restored focus to the present.  Whatever is on the other side of the line (outside the now) doesn’t affect you.  It is in the past, and it has no control over you unless you grant it that power.

Personally, I only cross over that line into the past when I need to (such as for practical matters) and do my best to steer clear otherwise.  I realized that letting a memory or emotion from the past affect the present is nonsensical.  Why should I have a terrible time at the movies with my friends because I am still mad at a driver who cut me off on the way there?  Unfortunately, our minds love to recall anything and everything, so this takes a bit of work, but the reward makes it worth it.  Total presence gives way to spectacular experiences and a general propensity to see the glass as half full.